a fabric of broken hearts

when you’re a child
you take tinier steps with a bigger heart
as you grow older the steps slow down,
become smaller, your heart falls apart –
imagination begins to slip under
yet you imagine you’ve grown bolder
as you continue to walk with the world
playing piggyback on your shoulders
and in the dark, you remember times when
your brain ran wild, but when you speak
everything that ran hot now runs colder –
outside holds you by the leash, you can
only find release from it all in tiny vials,
shots, and capsules – stacking up
weak joints on weak bones, you feel like a
hopeless fool swept up in denial
when you switch the lights
off and stare into the dark, wondering if
you’ve missed making your tiny mark
on the flesh of the universe, already bruised —
a fabric of broken hearts, everything lost
with nothing left to lose

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